Something like people deceive themselves in thinking they have repented. If you have truly repented you will not want to sin anymore. God takes that desire to sin away. I'm a Christian. I love everyone. I went through something that brought me to my knees in an alter. When I came up off my knees and opened my eyes everything had changed. I used to ask my Daddy how will you would know if you were truly repented, saved, what ever you may call it, we call it the Holy Ghost . . . he would tell me that you would just know. Then he would talk how some Christians deceive themselves in thinking they were repented. I worried and prayed i didn't want to do that to myself. But when i came off my knees and opened my eyes I was overwhelmed with love. I loved everything. I didn't even really read the bible then. I just knew i loved everything and everybody. I loved the trees, the grass, the bugs i went around for over a year just looking at things with a different perspective. I didn't read the bible much before, but i started reading and praying for knowledge. The churches we go to are not sophisticated. I started with the Psalms cause they were always my favorite. I read them for a couple of years. Then i thought i am a Christian i should read the New Testament. And i read Jesus's commandment that he gave to us "to love one another as he had loved us." Then i realized it was the love of God i felt when i repented because truly that was how i felt like i loved everything soooo much. People thought i was crazy going around telling them i loved them, but i did and i couldn't help it. I even worried about, why do i love everyone. OMG is that normal? My daddy always called people who were newly repented a young child of God. Said God would teach you. I thought no way God's gonna teach me. But He did. I mean it may be a little simple. But why does it have to be so complicated, right? So, after i read about Jesus commandment to love. Other questions came to me. Well I love everything and that's why because it's Jesus' commandment, but not everything is good. So what about that? So I read about spiritual gifts. One of them is discerning spirits. Now growing up i had read and heard about spiritual gifts, but thought these people are crazy. Discerning spirits i thought was some kind of magic trick. No body could do that right. Then i got to thinking Love we can always love everyone and everything even our enemies, but we have to know good from bad, we have to discern a good person from a bad person. When you get a good feeling when you are around someone you don't know or hardly know that's a good spirit. Have you ever been around someone you liked, but couldn't stand to be in the room with them for very long or felt nervous around them, that's a bad spirit. That's all discernment is God speaks to your heart and lets you know good from bad. Then i started questioning well I love Jewish people, what's the difference? So, I am a Christian. I still have to follow God's commandments too! Top ten very important you gotta. So if i go to the Law to Justify myself I have fallen from grace. Well that sounded scary. I didn't want to fall. I like the Old Testament too, i read it.

Then the New Testament tells us that the Law is the foundation of the world. What does that mean? you'll fall if you believe the foundation of the world that so confusing right. So, I tried to figure out what in the Old Testament contradicted the New Testament. Now this is just a simple person trying to figure stuff out not saying its right. Okay, so the Old Testament is eye for an eye tooth for a tooth and the New Testament is all about forgiveness and love. That's the only contradictory things i could think of. To justify myself. When do you justify yourself, when you have done something, an action. Well they told a lie so i cut out their tongue, she had an affair so we stoned her to death. Well I did that because he did that to me and an eye for an eye a tooth for a tooth "i fell from grace." As Christian's we are taught to turn the other cheek. Not to judge people, let the Lord to that, its not my place to judge someone if they are right or wrong in their beliefs. Just pray for them, pray for me. Not to be rash to even the score. That's the only thing that came to me we have to be slow to anger and consider our actions carefully. Y'all pray for me.